The boy sat at the very edge of the jetty, legs dangling out over peaceful waters, watching as the sun began its slow descent into the horizon. In his hand was a little book filled with writings and pictures he had done over the past few months, but it was all meaningless now.
She was gone now.
And all he had to remember her by were the fond memories they shared.
It all happened so fast.

The little book slipped through his fingers, it's pages flipping violently as if forcefully and painfully trying to show the world one last time all that it contained before finally crashing into the waters below. The words were now smeared, the drawings smudged.. but the boy couldn't see it anymore. His vision had also blurred as he fought back the tears that he knew would come.

His hands were now holding on to the metal railings of the jetty, his teeth clenched. Tears were no longer flowing. He was finally able to hoist himself up, his feet back on the jetty, his back against the sunset.

He wouldn't cry.
And he wouldn't give up.
Looking at the long shadow of himself cast by the setting sun onto the jetty's cement floor, he saw a boy who was ready to do anything to keep this promise he made to himself.

It's because you don't know me well enough that's why I can post here.
And I'm kinda glad we aren't that close after all.
Sometimes people get confused over what they're feeling and make rash decisions no one ever understands why.

So I'm gonna go to bed right now and think about it tomorrow when my mind is clearer.
The cycle's not going to repeat.
And no matter who how what why when where.
I'll break the damned cycle no matter how hard it is.
I'm telling myself that this time,
it's gonna be different.

If you want to do it, you do it.

I lost my appetite.

There's a reason why I never ever fell for girls who just seemed so perfect.
No, it's not because I'm not confident enough to like them;
but because I think that it's only through hardships and turmoil in life do you really grow.
Only have you seen the uglier side of life do you know how to appreciate what is beautiful.

When asked, many guys say,
"I like a girl's eyes." Or legs, or face, or hair.
It doesn't matter.
Sweeter answers would probably be,
"I think a girl is most beautiful when she's asleep." or
"I love her voice when she makes me call her to wake her up."

But I think a girl is most beautiful... when she finally conquers an obstacle in life and move on. She becomes a different person.
It's like the caterpillar and butterfly metamorphosis.
A caterpillar will only become a beautiful butterfly when it struggles and breaks out of its cocoon.
No amount of make-up and branded clothes will make a girl look pretty because a caterpillar will always be a caterpillar.

People might have said you're a beautiful/cute/adorable/sweet girl, for whatever reasons they might have..

This time, I really do think you're beautiful.
From the bottom of my heart I do.

Kpop is all the rage right now, with fanboys and fangirls going crazy over the teenaged superstars..

You might think that is THE life; looks, sponsered clothes, fame, fortune...
But just what goes on?

-

With the Korean music industry still reeling from the TVXQ vs SM Entertainment lawsuit, there was news today that new girl group, T-ara have been barred from using their own mobile phones by their company recently.

T-ara expressed on the 10th, “After discussions with our company (Mnet Media), we have voluntarily handed in our mobile phones to them. If there’s any urgent matter, we will borrow our manager’s mobile phone.” With mobile phones very much an essential part of a young girl’s lifestyle, is the management company going too far with this action?

With regards to this, their manager said, “Not just their mobile phones, we are also restricting their time on the internet. We felt that malicious postings against them on the internet will affect their daily training.” He added, “More than 80% of the comments posted by netizens are hateful remarks towards individual members. These hateful remarks does nothing useful, and will just make them feel depressed, etc. So we decided on this after consultation with all the members and got their consent.”

Weeks before their debut, T-ara would hand over their mobile phones when they wake up at 6am. It will then be returned to them once training is over at night. But the company felt that text messaging by the members were affecting their sleep time, so they decided to raise the bar and take away their mobile phones for a period of time instead.

Their manager ended by saying, “This is nothing new. Others like Lee Seung Gi and F.T Island also didn’t have mobile phones when they just debuted. Not just Tara, it’s the same with many idol groups. There are of course some instances where certain members would secretly use their mobile phone without the company’s notice. This is where I and the innocent members would start “hunting” them down.”

-

Above is a post from http://beyondradiant.wordpress.com/ (prollly some news report and reposted there without a hotlink)

Without handphones it means they are excluded from family, friends and really almost everyone else because handphones have become the main form of communication.

Without access to the internet and all the hate comments, are they really being protected? Or hidden from the truth?
What their companies see it as protecing them is really taking away their basic rights from them.
What they said in their interview was probably scripted by the company as well.
C'mon, which company who confiscates handphones will allow the group members to speak freely with the press?

If you really support them, you gotta understand what they are really going through.
Even a non-fan like me feels the pinch when I read the article.

I realise I have been talking lesser and lesser nowadays, because I realise that people aren't really interested in your stories.
Most of them are only interested in telling you theirs.
So to those I still talk to, thanks.
Because it means I know you still care enough to listen to my rants.

Oh and one more thing,
I know you too well.. so much so that I'm afraid to guess.. but, please don't let me be right okay?

Okayyy.
So I'm back home and the past 48 hours seemed really surreal.
Anyways to cut it short we were held back in camp cuz' something happened.

Didn't feel like posting much today but Veron posted a little something and I thought it was pretty interesting..
So here goes:

Rules:
Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you.

1.   I set my curfew to sleep at 10pm everynight but never seem to make it.
2.   I am an eataholic, but people tell me I don't usually taste the food before it disappears down my throat.
3.   I have an obsession with using good pens.
4.   I am a colourblind bat, and actually proud of it.
5.   I have cool design friends which I will definitely ask to help design a shopfront next time.
6.   My mum is gonna pay for the shop.
7.   I don't like guy bitches.
8.   I am a hyprocrite when it comes to many things.
9.   One of which is that I always pretend to be mean, but actually am a very very nice person. (on condition!)
10. I have very few good friends.
11. But I treat them like how a 3 year old treats his soft toys. CLOSE TO MY HEART!
12. If anyone of them calls me at 3am to meet up because he/she is sad, I will cab down to listen to them. (IF I wake up from the call.)
13. I like food, but I absolutely cannot stomach spaghetti. I have no idea why. I used to like them tho. :O
14. I have recently fallen in love with an ancient game called Heroes 3.
15. I hate math.
16. I like typing fast and not looking at the keyboard, it gives me an adrenaline rush.
17. Somedays I just feel like rotting, and then I feel bad about rotting.
18. I like discussions on life and other deep things sometimes. My future partner had better be someone like that.
19. I don't like ordinary girls.
20. I have horrible memory when it comes to birthdays but seem to remember hp numbers quite well.
21. Talking about that, I have memorized almost all of the numbers of the HQ personnel in my base as well as all the landline numbers.
22. I like first person shooter games. It's a good way to relief stress.
23. Is still very much an immatured kid at heart
24. I am sad this list is coming to an end.. I still have 12456453432 random things to say. :(
25. Secretly likes that this list allows me to selfishly talk about myself.

- - -

If you know me and read this, please do it and text me, msn me, fb tag me, post it on LJ, wtv. Just let me know because I wanna know more about you as well! :D

Okay I'm getting a little impatient at the slow loading speed of my videos, so imma post a little something here in the meantime.

- - -
Recently been quite stressed out over work..
But I keep telling myself to hang on and just pull through.
It's just NS afterall, and it's the least of my worries once I step into the real adult world.
I think kids in Singapore are generally over-pampered, so much so that they are not exposed to the real world until they hit their twenties, making them easy targets for the seasoned players of the field.
I think a parent's job is not to protect his/her children from the harsh world out there, but educate them on how to live in this kind of world, maintaining the values taught and morals learnt.

As for me, I certainly plan on moving out, setting up my own place and learning how to be independent.. But all those can wait til I finish my university education and get a job.
It all seems so unreal though.

I've been thinking alot about giving up..
But something just tells me not to.
At least not now.
Give it a shot, give it some time.. Because.

"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place."

If I had one wish granted to me right now, I know exactly what I would wish for.
I would wish I was born in the era where cellphones never existed and the internet was still but a dream.
If I stop here, I know you would know what I mean.
And I'm too tired to carry on typing anyways.

Army's a bitch.
Especially today.
Have you ever had a feeling so strong that you wanted to punch someone's face in, even know you know clearly what the consequences are?


/edit.

It's only tonight that I realised.. If you really see someone as a friend, pet peeves are but obstacles you overcome so you can be a better friend.
So I'm gonna do it right this time. I hope.